Distance

I used to hide it
but my eyes would light up
when you said
you were ‘going away’
I used to sigh
away the smile inside
when you’d say
‘I’m going away…’

Lock our lips
then we’d part
You’d grow small, into the distance
such beloved distance

I used to go wild
when the time came around
for spacious relaxation
I’d go blind
when you went away
I took off my shirt
wrote my new rules
on all of the toilet walls
while you were away

Filling all the holes
with my freedom
my deceit
my complete
my utter
lack of respect
for you
while you were away

I’d be thirsty as a mountain
unfeeling as a carcass
I’d be roadkill
if it pleased me to be
O, how I wronged you
while you were away

Always
you’d come back
and when you came back
I’d be so prepared
slip back into my cave
We’d lock our lips
and I’d grow small again
now there was no distance
no beloved distance

Don’t think there isn’t
one single day
I don’t regret
one single day
that I don’t turn away
and wipe my eyes
one single day
as you kiss me
that I don’t wish to die
for what I did
while you were away…

[2006]

Thanks for reading.

4 thoughts on “Distance”

    1. Oh I did not expect that reaction, I’m very grateful though! This was a very early poem trying to make sense of attitudes in toxic relationships. Loving the wrong person brings out the worst in everyone. Thanks so much for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s