I lie, I tell myself, but it’s true
some things are best left unsaid
The future opened up and took you
so, now I’m ironing my best fabrications
hoping to convince someone else I’m free
but your flawless face is still here
printed a thousand times behind my eyes
Now, who am I to kiss these foreign lips
what right have I to dance on your grave
We’re all predisposed to failure
us, the kids with hearts on sleeves
We open our doors to destruction
the moment we utter those three words
but I’ve become so obsessed with doom
that I don’t always see the stars
when I stare into this night sky
My eyes are tainted by the knowledge
that everything will surely end
I smile, I tell myself, but I don’t
some realities will never be acknowledged
The sky opened up and drowned me
so now, I’m digging out my umbrella
to shade me from the sun that’s coming
My mantra used to be ‘alone, but not lonely’
now, it’s more like ‘save me from myself’
but that’s just the way I am these days
so eager, to just fold and indulge the tears
So, there’s no guessing where tonight will end
when midnight comes to shake my hand
will I be lying on a couch in the kitchen
or lost somewhere in these foggy streets
strangled by a scarf and her sweet perfume
choking on the beauty of such porcelain skin
reciting my favourite phrases between kisses
knowing that the ending is just hours away
and that everything I want is on a timer…
[2005]
Thanks for reading this very old poem.
Note: I’m going to post some older poems which I’ve never shared before over the next week or so. They’re all quite early in my writing and are flawed in all sorts of ways (aren’t we all) but I thought they might be of interest to people to see where I started. T.A. 18th June 2021.
The Lighthouse 
This is a piece of great writing. I pulled a heartstring or two.
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Thanks Cassa. Really glad it moved you 🙂 I can still picture those foggy midnight streets and all the possibility and heartache they contained. Thanks for reading.
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*it pulled
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Damn Tom, this is incredible 👏👏👏
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Thanks Bree 🙂 Very kind of you. I don’t think I fully knew what I was doing back then (writing and living) but I loved finding out and trying to get it all down on paper one way or another… Thanks for reading.
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True Tom, we are all flawed, and we are all self deprecating! (apart from the likes of Trump!)
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A watched an interview with David Gilmore this morning who was saying how he found himself as a guitar player once he embraced his short-comings and turned them to his advantage. That idea smacks of wisdom. Trump sadly, does not. Thankfully, he’s mostly gone – or so it would seem… Thanks for reading.
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This is great my friend 👍
I look forward to more from the back catalogue 🖤🖤
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Thanks Charmer, be careful what you wish for… some of it is utter trash 😉 Thanks for reading.
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Well, I’ve already read your second post so I know for a fact this is not the case! 😁🖤
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🙂
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An excellent piece, Tom. Very atmospheric.
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Thanks Chris, glad you think so. Was an early attempt at capturing those foggy midnight streets. Thanks for reading.
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