In the shining eyes of the girl below me
lit by the dim glow of a Paris night
I see the distance growing
that I’ve been running from
for so long
And there, I gasped
lay by her side, and said
“What have I become?
Do I mean anything to you?”
Inhaling on a cigarette
she looked at me, sideways
and said
“You have lost so much
most of which you gave away
drunkenly, or deliberately
Trying to be something else
but to yourself you’ll always stay
a stranger in this wasteland”
And that’s me
a stranger in this wasteland
Yes, that’s me…
[2004]
Thanks for reading this old poem.
Note: I’m going to post some older poems which I’ve never shared before over the next week or so. They’re all quite early in my writing and are flawed in all sorts of ways (aren’t we all) but I thought they might be of interest to people to see where I started. T.A. 18th June 2021.
The Lighthouse 
Good Lord this is depressing Tom… whatever state you were in at the time… You penned it well and this heaviness sits on the readers chests all these years later. That my friend, is pretty amazing. 👏👏👏
And now I will go watch a Disney movie or something to lift my spirits 😏
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Ha, thanks Bree. I have lots of VERY depressing poems from 2003-2008 but I don’t tend to post them because they tend to sound a bit immature and also I don’t really enjoy putting out more negativity into the world now that I’m in a happier place.
That said, there’s a whole treasure-trove of bleakness just lurking. Maybe one day I’ll create another blog to share some of that stuff. I really revelled in the sadness back then, I think I was a bit mistaken that all art had to be melancholic to be valid. Thankfully, I have since moved on.
Enjoy that Disney film and thanks for reading.
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Oooft, this one stung.
Great piece my friend.
It’s testament to you as a writer that you can explore both the light and the dark with equal skill – whatever the timeline of when they were written 👍🖤
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Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet.
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