Float

the brightness has died like it couldn’t stand the heat
it left us alone on the beach where we met
the fire is dead and the coldness sets in
I’m wearing the same clothes as the first time we kissed
and further than I could ever go
a smile I want to keep forever
like a beast I couldn’t tame
couldn’t keep control
at the time, until just now
it felt all too much, too big, too bright
it felt much too strong, too overgrown
and like forever, it would last us
and like forever, it would last…

but we were wrong…
and now it’s gone…

fallen down in the snow still miles from home
you drag me down lower than I have ever seen
below the surface you’re trapped in sadness
I’m still wearing a scowl I’ve practiced so long
and deeper than I could ever pull you
a look I want to lose somehow
like a fear I couldn’t conquer
couldn’t over-come
at the time, until today
it felt all too soft, too safe, too bright
it felt much too tall, too durable
and like forever, it would last us
and like forever, it would last…

but we were wrong…
and now it’s gone…

and the waves lap up against your precious face
my tired arms keep us afloat a while longer
and you turn to me and breathe
“there can never be forever”
slowly now, and wholly now
my limbs take on a burning now
and harder now, and breaking now
we sink beneath the waves again
and like forever, it shouldn’t fail us
and like forever, it’s supposed to last…

but we were wrong…
and now it’s gone…

I wave to you, a last farewell
and as I go, I melt inside
and guts all spilt, I sleep so deep
wishing now to never wake
the stench of death, decaying flesh
drifting now, on endlessly
on and on in a lonely sea

another time, another place maybe
another way, another me maybe
ever-lasting soon gives in
soon disappears and dissipates
another time, another place maybe
another way, another you maybe

and we were young…
but now it’s gone…

[2003]

Thanks for reading this very old poem.