O Lord, I ain’t what I aimed to be
I think I missed the target some
my seed got turned upside down
tried to grow towards the light
and grew down…
O Lord, are you listening to me?
‘cause I’ve never heard your voice in here
no conductor’s baton, no steady hand
as I stumbled through this night
and grew dark…
O Lord, I’m miles from where I meant to be
the Devil, he has no compass, no stars to follow
says ‘hack away, till you reach the easy warmth’
but I hacked so many people, I keep slipping in their blood
and fall down…
O Lord, I haven’t used my eyes for years
don’t see anything when you only live to feel
I get whatever stimulus I can take
I’ll take whatever’s not bolted down
and go blind…
O Lord, I’m chased by that same snake again
always offering me that same apple
all I ever wanted was to live in the light
Yet something always eclipsed that need
now it feels too late to change
and I’ll always hang here in this bleak greed
and pitch night…
Would you forgive me, Lord
let me admit to all this blackness and move on
could you forgive me, Lord
if I promise you I’ll change and for the better
O Lord, all I ever wanted
was just to live in the light
but look at me now, deep in the dark
do you see me here, lost in this dark…
[2008]
Thanks for reading.
The Lighthouse 
🌷
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Just keep heading towards that light!
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Excellent advice Peter. I was obviously feeling a bit lost when I penned this one.
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“When you only live to feel..” wow. Powerful.
You write about all of us in this one.
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Thank you. I think I was writing as a character when I wrote this one, but a character who could say what I wanted to. 🙂
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When all your eyes can see is darkness, When all your heart can do is feel everything all at once,
Where is the light,
Where is the love.
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I spent many years in the darkness for various reasons and it becomes all you know and start to think it’s all you deserve – but it’s not.
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Enjoyed this just as much the second time around.
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Aww thank you! So pleased to hear that. 🙏
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