Fulfilment

Click ‘play’ to hear me read this poem – or right-click and choose ‘Save As’ to download the MP3.

Senses softened in the dark afternoon
This year is charring in the fire grate
So, I pour out into the haunted fields
looking for loneliness, for lines, for clues
to get a handle on all thatโ€™s happened
to make predictions on where I am headed

All around my body, the worldโ€™s covered by a sheet
lifeโ€™s decorator is preparing to paint the new year
This land spills on for snowy miles
my past reels out somewhere behind me
in those paths taken, in those choices made;
there are glimpses of the shape of my future

The Grecian islands, the Cornish coast
Those petty milestones, those brave goodbyes
from swollen ankles, to exploded minds
Portuguese walled-towns, to Derbyshire hills
From a decade planted, then uprooted and moved
the letting go, the keeping a hold
Surprises; surprising, plans made and fulfilled
much falls away, much more presents itself
weddings, worries, work; with friends
consciousness glides across the ghostly fields
comes to rest behind my smiling eyes

So, now I have the things Iโ€™ve always wanted
the peace I chased, the love I imagined
the tools Iโ€™ll need are all within me
and Kate is waiting, with her key, somewhere

By the gate, I pause, look up into the nothing
time stands still, my eyes adjust…
the pitch black night is full of stars
(when did I last see those?)
My gaze breaks, my footsteps in the powder flow
time moves, I need for nothing else…
I go back into the house

Toss my wondering on the fire
pour a drink, talk to my family
Iโ€™m satisfied
and warm…

[2011]

Happy Christmas & thanks for reading/listening.

The piano track on the audio recording is “The Book of Jen by Tedosio“.

Got an Amazon voucher for Xmas?… ‘The Ship-wrecker’s Lamp: Selected Poems 2010 – 2020’ available now.

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Published by

Tom Alexander

"Art is a lie that tells the truth"

16 thoughts on “Fulfilment”

  1. I thought this was a current poem until I got to the end and saw 2011. Funny, how a poem you wrote nine years ago can seem to fit so naturally in a year as tumultuous as this has been. I guess that speaks to the unchanging nature of our biggest fears, questions and joys in life. Thanks for this reminder Tom. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What a nice way of looking at it, Iโ€™d not fully considered that but youโ€™re right. Every year is full of moments; good and bad and at some point itโ€™s healthy to reflect and to look ahead. Thanks for reading. ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ‘

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    1. Thank you for listening/reading Kritika, I really appreciate it. I’m so pleased you enjoyed. I was hoping to write something recently about this time of year but I’ve not had time and this poem still says it all really. ๐Ÿ™‚

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