Distance

I used to hide it
but my eyes would light up
when you said
you were ‘going away’
I used to sigh
away the smile inside
when you’d say
‘I’m going awayโ€ฆ’

Lock our lips
then we’d part
You’d grow small, into the distance
such beloved distance

I used to go wild
when the time came around
for spacious relaxation
I’d go blind
when you went away
I took off my shirt
wrote my new rules
on all of the toilet walls
while you were away

Filling all the holes
with my freedom
my deceit
my complete
my utter
lack of respect
for you
while you were away

I’d be thirsty as a mountain
unfeeling as a carcass
I’d be roadkill
if it pleased me to be
O, how I wronged you
while you were away

Always
you’d come back
and when you came back
I’d be so prepared
slip back into my cave
We’d lock our lips
and I’d grow small again
now there was no distance
no beloved distance

Don’t think there isn’t
one single day
I don’t regret
one single day
that I don’t turn away
and wipe my eyes
one single day
as you kiss me
that I don’t wish to die
for what I did
while you were away…

[2006]

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Trespassers

Does this trip start with you
or spring somewhere in me
there is an urgency of need
I can’t seem to abandon

My fingers on the button
clawing at your door, heart thumping
will you answer all this longing
let me cross the line, trespassing

Calling by, I’m calling by
that ancient question in my eye
and you can tell, you can smell
that I’ve been drinking 
you know me
I don’t act without reason
a song as old as time
sung by my insides

You don’t close the door
you don’t tell me to go back to her
just study the mat for a full half-minute
then shake your head, crack a smile
‘we’re trespassers’ you say
and lead me up the stairs

I’ve been longing for this thing
I’ve been looking for what’s been missing
I’ve been down a few roads now
you’re the only way that works
you’re the only way I know

Sunday morning
there’s no escaping
it’s written every way I turn
trespassing, this foreign skin
how madly I wanted it

Trespassing
the only road I know
trespassing
you’re the only road I know…

[2017]

Thanks for reading.

Image Credit: https://www.instagram.com/margaretdurow/

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