toy – The Lighthouse

Purpose

My car stands motionless in the driveway
but I don’t know how to drive it
That guitar is propped against its amp
but I don’t know how to play
and my lover
she lies there in the bedroom
but I…

My chess set’s collecting dust upon the shelves
but I don’t know what the rules are
That fishing rod looms above the bait box
but I don’t have the technique
and my lover
she lies there in the bedroom
but I…

What am I for
when I don’t know how to love her
when I don’t know how to let her
love me back
What am I for
What am I for

So, I’ll keep buying toys
and promising I’ll master them
When really there’s no joy
in anything, anymore…

[2007]

Thanks for reading this old poem.

Tourist Trap

Holidaying as a teenager
back when time moved slower
and thoughts were many
I’d cruise the gift shops
reviewing tacky souvenirs
This used to be a fishing village
now it’s a tourist trap

And picking up a handmade bear
with wonky mouth and vacant stare
big button eyes and blood red lips
I’d wonder of its maker, its creator
someone dreamed
this bear into the world
someone thought this expression
made it look cute

Was it modeled on a relative
was it ripped-off from some other toy
was its designer trying
to give a child some joy
or only focused on the ringing
of cash registers
and paying the bills
Did they live locally
or somewhere overseas?

Looking at the toy
I’d be overtaken with a sadness
that someone tried and someone cared
if only for a moment
in their short lives

I’d set it back
and wonder
‘will this still be here
on the same shelf
next year?’

[2020]

Thanks for reading.