October shed its skin across these pavements Now, November does its best to wash the mess away We glide down the lonely streets of night lost in appreciation for the moody glow that guides us
You carry such a heavy heart this season what was taken brought you this blackness in exchange and so I do whatever I can to lift it up for you
This dance of conversation jig of gentle humour all my attempt to paint a more hopeful picture Ease the crush of grief that’s levelled by a cruel unfeeling world And gratefully I’ll give whatever part of me might dull this pain for you…
There is hope (I know you know this) There is a hope waiting to be held again in those gentle, loving hands (I know you know this) yet it feels so far away this evening
You are loved by so many (I know you know this) There is nothing but a pure, real, love and respect flowing through my veins for you (I know you know this) but I wanted to remind you in the hope that you might cease to feel so far away this evening…
The room turns cold on my entry chilled by the endless winter in my heart which came one day when I was younger and never began to thaw Now the icicles of loneliness reach they hang above this crooked form this bent back scribbling at its desk Well I’ve tried to fake some warmth I’ve stood outside and screamed at the sky but this emotionless, empty heart will never melt, or heal, or bloom again
Now all of the love I’ve acted out just inverts into hate and boomerangs and I can’t stand or leave this chair I refill my pen and pour more wine reclining under the weight of sadness that I could never be blessed with love, or loyalty, or warmth all I do is write about my missing pieces unsure if, or when, I’ll ever find them maybe I am not deserving of saviour but I’m still vain enough to hope…
Walking to the old wooden mill walking up Windmill Hill
Walking high above the sleeping villages stomping slow through powder snow following my friend as he stretches his legs moving as two faint dark figures across the dim blue glowing fields
See smoke rising from a chimney off in the distance, a single building shivers one light flickers in an upstairs window I momentarily wonder what they might be doing huddling for warmth by the fading orange fire?
On nights like this I walk for miles until my shoes are consolidated ice and I can’t walk too many steps more on nights like this I love to drift freely let thoughts unfold in the clean crisp air a few pure hours among the hills and valleys
When I free my mind and let all grip swing away when I am calm and utterly alone always the things I find, that I dwell upon are the gratitude and joy I experience daily it’s the happiness and the luck that seem to surround and blanket me daily
I know life won’t always be this gracious won’t always handle me so gentle or easily I know that health and the blessing thereof is a passing gift that will soon be gone and yet to know that times like this exist renews and amplifies the hope and happiness I carry with me
The snow begins to fall again my furry friend shakes the flakes from his heaving back now we must return to the sleeping village both of us, content and smiling
lost in the endless beauty of the living world looking for calm amongst the chaos and knowing that it’s out there somewhere it’s out there or in here somewhere…
Welcome to my world! We go through a lot in our lives but to accept them with an open heart and emotional strength is what keeps us alive. My posts are about all those little fears, happy moments, and anticipation we experience throughout our lives. I hope you find solace in them!